#the pjo content and spite are the only things keeping me here

[phoenix--flying]

everyday i get closer to deleting the tik tok app

[gatesofember]

Frailty and Fortune: Chapter 5

PJO Arranged Marriage/Royalty AU Part 10

Rating: T | Pairing: Solangelo

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Summary: A few months have passed since Prince Nico’s wedding to William of Solace. Even with his husband at his side, Will sometimes feels lonely as he settles into his new life. He misses his home, his family, his friends, and his studies in Venadica. Meanwhile, Nico is uncertain how to help him, awkward about expressing himself, and he wonders if he’ll ever be able to truly make his husband happy. As time goes by and Will continues to feel lost in his new home, Will and Nico must both learn how to make their marriage work.

Will wasn’t especially prone to anger.  That wasn’t to say he was immune to occasional flashes of outrage, but his temper usually remained firmly under control.  Aggravation, annoyance, and exasperation—those happened to Will in regular doses.  But resentment?  Rage?  Very rare.

In hindsight, it wasn’t entirely surprising it had been brought out as a result of his interactions with Nico.  Will had already been furious about Midas, the ponies, Zoe’s poor healthcare, and the general state of Phrygia, and Nico had a habit of making Will feel unusual and strong emotions.  Before, said emotions had mostly been positive; the only exception Will could think of had occurred after Nico snapped at him in Salacia.  Will supposed his intense reactions happened because his love for Nico amplified everything he felt.

But the possibility that his anger may have stemmed from love hardly made it good.  Anger, Will thought, was rarely ever good.

That didn’t stop him from feeling it.

Nico didn’t return to Will’s room again during the trip.  After their argument, he stopped inviting Will to join discussions.  “Reyna and I are going to review finances with Midas,” Nico had gruffly told him the evening after they fought.  “Why don’t you go read a book or chat with Lityerses or whatever it is you’ve been spending all your time on?”

Two days later, Will gave up on waiting for an invitation and offered to help in their evening talks.

“Make up your mind, Will,” Nico had snapped.  “Do you want to be involved or not?”

“Exactly what do you think I’ve been doing in the mines all day?” Will had hissed back.

“Having a grand time with your new best friend Lityerses, I expect!” Nico had answered, and then he’d stormed away.

Anger wasn’t good, but Nico wasn’t making it easy to stop feeling it.

Nico, after all, had been the one to invite Will to Phrygia in the first place.  Nico had said he wanted Will’s help.  And then he changed his mind because why?  Because Will had invited Lityerses in for tea?

Will tried to remain impartial.  He tried to see things from Nico’s perspective.  And yes, Will knew that Nico wasn’t entirely to blame.  He did feel guilty for accusing Nico of disliking Lityerses because he was a past suitor—he knew very well that Nico hated being reminded of any of his attempts at courting.  Worse still, he knew that Nico probably hadn’t mentioned Lityerses to him because it must be an especially sensitive topic.  Will ought to have been more considerate.

But no matter how Will looked at it, Nico was out of line.  Nico couldn’t resent Will for talking to someone.  Nico couldn’t tell Will who he was and wasn’t allowed to spend time with.

And if Will started spending more time with Lityerses and Zoe, he couldn’t deny that spite may have been a factor.  If Nico was only going to continue being ridiculous, Will decided, then he’d wait until Nico was ready to stop acting like a child to talk to him again.  After all, Will had more important things to attend to.

Actually, Will was quite happy in spite of his husband’s antics and he wasn’t about to let Nico ruin that for him.  He felt useful for the first time in months.  He was healing again.  He spent hours poring over old records on the pit ponies, calculations running through his head as he made his way through the data stored in them.  He enjoyed spending time with Lityerses and Zoe, especially when he could watch the way the siblings interacted with each other, and he’d even begun to think of them as friends.  Will had promised them he’d remain in contact, and Lityerses in turn had promised that he’d keep Will updated on the happenings in Phrygia.

And Will was particularly proud of himself for the way he’d dealt with Midas over the course of the trip.  The plan to extend the mine’s slope was already in motion.  Work had halted on the three lowest levels until construction was complete.  Plans for above-ground stables had already been drawn up, and, after much argument, Will had forced Midas to agree that he would not send ponies to the mines until they reached at least five years of age, preferably older.

“But these circumstances aren’t unique to my mine,” Midas had insisted.  “All pit ponies—”

“I didn’t ask about other mines,” Will had interrupted.  “Being standard does not make something right.  This is a serious problem and you will correct it.”

On the morning of the day they were to leave Phrygia, Will and Nico joined Midas and Lityerses for breakfast in a sunny room overlooking the gardens.  Nico was clearly angry and Will couldn’t say he was looking forward to sitting next to him for the entire carriage ride home.  They hadn’t had the opportunity to be alone in days—or rather, they hadn’t taken the opportunities that presented themselves—and Nico still seemed content to ignore Will as obviously as possible.  He took the chair next to Will at breakfast, but didn’t bother to even look at him.

That was, until Zoe came in to join them.

Zoe’s health had been steadily improving for the past several days.  With her cough dying down and her throat less sore, Zoe had proven her brother’s teasing quite warranted by talking Will’s ears off every time he came to see her.  She’d even taken to climbing out of bed and walking around the room during Will’s visits.  Will had expected her to be moving around the estate shortly after they left, but he certainly hadn’t predicted she’d reveal herself in front of guests.

Evidently, neither had Midas.

“What are you doing out of bed?” Midas asked, his words stiff and slow and the pitch of his voice a low rumble.

Zoe instantly folded in on herself, holding her arm self-consciously and glancing at the floor.  “I wanted to join you,” she said.

“You were supposed to stay in bed.”

Will had to stop himself from berating Midas.  He was still a guest in Midas’ home and interfering with his family life was inappropriate.  But Will certainly wasn’t going to say nothing. He’d had his doubts about Midas’ parental capacities and this only solidified what Will already suspected.  How dare Midas speak to his own daughter that way?  How dare he make her feel unwelcome at the table in her own home?

“Lord Midas, aren’t you happy your daughter is up and about?” Will asked with a polite smile.  “She’s made quite a nice recovery.”

Nico set down his teacup with a loud clatter.  “Forgive me,” he said coldly, “but I was under the impression that your daughter was studying abroad, Lord Midas.  And for some reason, it appears that I am the only one present who did.”

“Ah,” Midas said slowly.  “Yes.  That is, erm—”

“They weren’t supposed to know?” Zoe asked, her eyes going wide.  She was still standing awkwardly in the entryway, waiting for an invitation to join them.  “My apologies, Father—I thought—the Prince is his husband, so I thought he knew.”

“Exactly what is going on?” Nico demanded, the cool edge of his voice quickly becoming hot.  “And how is my husband involved?”

“Well,” Midas started hesitantly.  “Your husband...my daughter...you see....”

Will set his tableware down beside his plate.  “Zoe has been ill,” he said, too impatient to wait for Midas to explain himself.  “When Lord Midas approached me our first evening here, he asked me to examine her.  I chose to respect her confidentiality.”

“Should I...should I leave?” Zoe asked, still standing in the doorway.  She looked as though she were about to cry.

Lityerses’ chair squeaked when he pushed it back from the table, hurriedly getting to his feet to go to his sister.  He put his hand on her shoulder and leaned down, whispering words of comfort that Will couldn’t hear as he led her out of the room.

Will put his hand on Nico’s arm.  Nico glared at him sharply, but Will didn’t pull away.  “She’s a child,” he mouthed.  Let Nico be angry with him and Midas later.  Zoe had done nothing wrong.

Nico pursed his lips and snatched his arm out from under Will’s hand.

“Honestly,” Will muttered under his breath, and he pushed his chair back and left the room after Lityerses and Zoe.

Will found them a short way down the corridor, Zoe with her back to the wall and Lityerses kneeling on the floor in front of her, whispering and holding her hands while she sniffled and nodded.  Will waited until Lityerses saw him and nodded him over before he approached.

“Don’t cry, Zoe,” Will said, kneeling next to Lityerses.  “We’ve worked so hard to get rid of your stuffy nose.”

Zoe smiled and even laughed a bit.  Lityerses released one of her hands and offered her a handkerchief to dry her tears.

Zoe dabbed at her eyes.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to get you in trouble with your husband.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Will said.  “I was the one who chose not to tell him.  If anything, I should be thanking you—I didn’t like keeping secrets from him and now we can talk about it.”

Zoe nodded, her fingers curling in the handkerchief and wrinkling the fabric.

“Won’t you come back in and eat with us?” Lityerses asked.  “I’ve missed having meals with you.”

Zoe shook her head.  “I don’t want to upset anyone more than I already have.”

“You haven’t upset anyone, Zoe,” said Will.  “None of this was your fault.  Personally, I would love for you to join us.”

“If you really want to go, then you can go,” Lityerses added.  “But His Highness and I want you to be there.  I’m sure Father would, too—he’s just upset about other things right now.”

Zoe looked down at the handkerchief clenched in her fingers.  “I don’t know,” she whispered.

Will glanced at Lityerses.  He was watching his sister patiently, squeezing her hand and waiting for her to be ready to speak again.

Will stood up.  Lityerses knew his sister better than Will—he could handle the situation on his own.  Will had to make sure that if Zoe decided to join them again, she wouldn’t walk into a hostile environment again.  “I’m going to go back inside and see if things are settled with your father and my husband,” he said.  Lityerses nodded, Zoe offered a quiet thank you, and Will left Zoe in her brother’s hands.

Back at the breakfast table, Nico was on his feet, glowering at Midas with his fists balled at his sides.  When he heard Will’s shoes on the marble floor, he turned.

“Kind of you to come back,” he spat.

Will pursed his lips.  “Zoe is crying in the corridor,” he said coldly, directing himself to both Nico and Midas.  “I do not know if she and Lityerses will come back to join us.  While I understand that the situation is unexpected, it seems to me that we have no reason to make a little girl cry.  She has done nothing but share her excitement over her recovery.  We ought to be ashamed of ourselves for making her feel so distressed over it.”

Midas looked away, and while the anger did not completely disappear from Nico’s eyes, it did simmer lower until he had it contained behind a composed mask.

Will took his seat in silence and Nico fell back into his chair.  No one spoke when they returned to their meal, but the soft chiming of cups and tableware felt so loud that it hurt Will’s ears.

Eventually, Lityerses and Zoe did return.  They stood in the doorway and Lityerses placed his hands on his sister’s shoulders.  “Zoe is going to join us for breakfast,” he said.  With a sharp look at his father, he added, “She just made a miraculous recovery from her illness thanks to our guest, and we’re all very grateful to see her well again.”

A short beat of silence passed before Nico gave the girl an uneasy smile and said, “I’m glad you’ve recovered, Zoe.”

“Yes,” Midas agreed.  “I’m so happy, dear.”

When they joined the table, Lityerses was the one to take over the conversation.  He talked about Zoe’s health and praised Will’s work, occasionally encouraging Zoe to join in when she was uncharacteristically quiet.

Will smiled.  For Lityerses, this was a small, quiet act of rebellion against his father.  Will had a feeling that with Lityerses there, he was leaving Phrygia in good hands.

“You may write to me with any questions and I’ve left behind instructions for Zoe’s care in the future,” Will said.  “For day-to-day health management, I’ve gathered a dietary plan for your chefs to ensure her immune system is fed the support it needs.  It is vital to ensure that Zoe is exposed to disease as little as possible.  I suggest stricter supervision of the staff—especially those in contact with Zoe.  No one is allowed in the estate when they are ill, or at least they may not be near Zoe or anything she may touch, eat, or drink.  Proper hygiene is also necessary—not just for Zoe, but for everyone in the estate, including the staff.  Everyone must wash their hands regularly. With soap. The medical equipment must be washed before and after each use.  I would recommend extra caution as we approach autumn—sickness is especially common in the colder months of the year.”

“And this disease—goldrot, you called it—you believe it can be controlled?” Midas asked.

“I believe I have diagnosed it early enough that careful management will considerably slow its progression,” Will answered.  “Just be sure to follow my plan exactly.  I also would advise updating some of your medical equipment.  I have already taken it upon myself to dispose of some unnecessary and dangerous tools your healers were using.  I wrote down the specifics for you to review.”

“You have my gratitude, Your Highness,” Midas said.  “I am in your debt.”

“I only wish to keep my husband’s people healthy,” Will said.  He wondered if that statement would appease Nico a bit.

Nico’s eyebrow twitched.  It may have just made him more angry.

“Still, I wish to repay you someway,” Midas said.  “You mentioned that you are currently without a patron and that your studies are on hold.  I would be happy to sponsor you.”

Nico’s tableware clattered onto his plate.

Will was similarly shocked.  He controlled himself enough not to gape, but he had no idea how long it was before he spoke again.  Midas?  Midas wanted to be his sponsor?

Will had given a lot of thought to who he might ask for sponsorship or how he would approach the topic, but it was always the kind of anxious, circling thought that ultimately led nowhere.  Should he ask for his father’s continuing patronage, or should he be independent?  Would it be odd, as the Prince’s husband, to be sponsored by another Pluton, or would it be preferable to take a sponsor whose intentions were in the interest of Pluto?  Would a Pluton even be willing to spare the money to fund his studies, given the state the country was in?

“Thank you for your generous offer,” Will finally managed to say.  “I will consider it further.”  He didn’t want Midas to sponsor him, not really—even if Midas was wealthy—but it would be impolite to say no without taking the time to think about it.  “In the meantime, might I suggest you send some of your healers to Venadica in my place?  If Zoe is to continue to stay healthy, then her healers need proper training on her disease.”

Will glanced at Lityerses as he said this and gave him a pointed look.  Lityerses was bearing witness to Will’s suggestion, so Lityerses would need to hold Midas to it.

Lityerses nodded that he understood.

“Then I will heed your advice and await your answer,” said Midas.

Will spared another peek at Nico.  He couldn’t see Nico’s eyes, but judging from his clenched jaw and the way he was sawing at the meat on his plate, Nico was absolutely livid.

 When breakfast was over, they prepared to leave the estate.  Will exchanged goodbyes and well-wishes with Lityerses and Zoe along with an invitation to write, and then he gave Midas a more formal farewell.

Reyna gestured Will and Nico to their carriage with Mellie and Hedge, but Nico said, “My husband and I will be riding alone in the second carriage with the luggage,” and Will prepared himself to face Nico’s anger.

The second carriage—the luggage carriage—had to be rearranged to accommodate for their presence.  While he waited, Will looked back at Zoe and Lityerses.  They seemed nervous for him, Will noted, so he smiled at them reassuringly.  He could handle Nico on his own.

For the first few minutes of the ride, there was silence as they sat in the cramped carriage.  The luggage was carefully restrained but took up a great deal of the car, leaving Will and Nico forced to sit rather close.  The carriage clacked over the stone roads of Phrygia as Will looked over the luggage and out the window angrily—angry at Midas for the secrets that lay clustered in the cracks of those too-clean streets, angry at Nico for being angry with him, and angry at both of them for making Zoe cry.

Will wanted to be angry.  He couldn’t remember ever wanting to be angry before, but right then, he did.  He wanted to be angry because Nico was angry, Nico was about to yell at him, and Will did not plan on backing down.  After all, anger may not be good, but it could be useful.

Will had always tried to live his life in a way that ensured no one had a reason to be upset with him because he hated making people angry and he was terrible at dealing with it.  He always became submissive when anger was directed at him, ready to roll over and show his belly by way of apology, too desperate to please to fight back.  With Nico, Will decided, he would not be like that.

Nico, unlike Will, was short-tempered, quick to jump headfirst into an argument without thinking about the consequences.  But with Will, Nico, too, submitted easily.  As soon as Will smiled at him, Nico’s anger fizzled away.  And then, when Will tried to discuss it, Nico always quickly assured Will that nothing was wrong, that Will hadn’t been at fault, and that he was sorry he’d gotten angry.  It had taken Will a while to take notice of the problem, but he’d figured it out at their wedding after Nico stormed off when Will teased him about Cecil and Ellis.  Whenever Nico had gotten angry at Will before that incident, Will really hadn’t done much wrong.  That time at their wedding, Will had. And yet Nico had done the same thing he’d always done—brushed aside Will’s apology and assured Will that he wasn’t at fault, taking responsibility for the entire encounter on his own.  They’d never had a real discussion about what happened.

Will would not allow that to become normal for them.  He would not allow that to happen to his marriage.

So Will clung to his anger desperately, vowing to himself that he would be strong and that he would force Nico to be strong, too.

When Nico finally spoke, his voice was icy, clear, and firm, and Will didn’t think he’d have to worry about Nico succumbing too quickly to let out his feelings.

“How dare you.”

The fresh wave of fury that rolled over Will promised that he wasn’t in danger of surrendering, either.  “And what, exactly, are you referring to?” Will said.  “How dare I spend time with Lityerses, or how dare I heal Midas’ daughter?  I wouldn’t turn away a patient on the basis of disliking their father.  I’m a healer, Nico.  This is my duty.”

“You’re my husband and you have a duty to me.”

“Forgive me, but I do not think that my spousal duties include medical negligence.”

“I’m not asking you to abandon someone in need of healing.  I’m asking you not to meet with people I distrust without at least making me aware.”

Will scoffed.  “Do you have a list of people I am not allowed to speak to?”

“You didn’t need a list.  You knew very well that it would upset me.”

That, at least, was true.  Will had known that Nico wouldn’t like him being alone with Lityerses and Zoe while he healed her.  But that was hardly the point.  He didn’t think Nico had the right to be upset about it.

“And why should I consult you before healing someone?  I wasn’t aware that you had any authority in matters involving medicine.”

“Don’t speak to me that way,�� Nico growled.

“You can’t give me orders without an explanation!”

“What is there to explain?  I’m asking you to behave like a husband ought to!”

“The way a husband ought to?” Will demanded.  “In that case, Your Highness, a good husband would never try to stop me from healing someone.”

“I’m saying that you should have consulted me!”

“I couldn’t consult you!  It would have been a breach of privacy to say something.  It’s my responsibility as a healer to protect the confidentiality of my patients and Plutons are so private about their health nowadays.”

“That is ridiculous,” Nico snapped.  “You shouldn’t keep secrets from your husband.”

“I didn’t keep a secret,” Will insisted.  “I protected someone’s right to confidentiality, and I’d do it again.”

“Not just someone. You were making deals with someone you knew I didn’t trust.”

“And what would you have done if you knew?  Would you have asked me to stop?  If you had, I wouldn’t have listened to you.”

“I would have at least liked to have been made aware!  We need to be careful what interactions we have with that family.  Look what’s happened—you didn’t consult me and now Midas has proposed sponsorship, which would get you even more involved with them!  You are not to accept his offer.”

Will hadn’t been interested in Midas’ patronage, but Nico prohibiting it tempted Will to reconsider.

He took a deep breath to quell the fury boiling inside him, and in a shaky voice, he said, “You are being ridiculously controlling and you have been this way the entire trip.  You won’t let me talk to anyone and if I go against your wishes, you fly into a rage.  Do you have any idea how much you embarrassed me in front of Lityerses this week?  Your jealousy was out of line.”

“Embarrassed you?” Nico repeated.  “If you want to talk about embarrassment, then let’s discuss you using my given name in front of Midas—twice! Even after I asked you not to!”

“Yes, so I made a mistake!  I’ve been in the habit of using your given name and I said it without meaning to.  And I understand that you value privacy—even if you don’t seem to value the privacy of others—but somehow I don’t believe that’s all this was about.”

“Really,” Nico snarled.  “Then enlighten me, Will: what was it about?”

“This was because you didn’t want them to think that you allowed someone to see you when you were vulnerable, or that you trusted someone enough to let them use your given name.  You didn’t want them to think I was important to you.  You wouldn’t let them see us. You wouldn’t even let them see me. You kept trying to lock me in a box to show off when it suited you to have a husband who’d pick out all the problems with the welfare of Midas’ animals, but the second I said anything remotely positive about someone in that family, you’d explode.  Lityerses, namely.  Honestly, Nico, he’s not the same person you met before.”

“People don’t change, Will,” Nico growled.

“You’ve changed,” Will pointed out.  “You’ve changed so much in the years I’ve known you.  You’re hardly the person I met three years ago, and you’re certainly not the boy my aunt introduced me to in Venadica when we were children.  And right now, you’ve changed into someone who’s completely overbearing and absurdly jealous.”

“How was I supposed to know what you were doing with Lityerses?” Nico demanded.  “You wouldn’t tell me anything!  All I knew was that you were lying to me and you’d tell me you were going to look over some records or go to bed early or read a book, then I’d find you with Lityerses instead.  What was I supposed to think?”

“You shouldn’t have suspected me.  Frankly, I’m insulted that you’d even say that.  You know, Nico—you know I love you.  You know that you’re the only person I’ve ever loved.  How dare you think that I would go behind your back?  Do you really trust me so little that you would jump to these terrible conclusions when I didn’t tell you where I was for a few hours this week?”

Nico opened his mouth, but then he choked on his breath and averted his eyes.  He fell back against his seat and turned to look out the window instead.

They didn’t speak again for a long while.  They exchanged a few short words where mandatory when the carriages stopped for a while in a town several hours outside of Phrygia for a break.  After letting the horses rest and having a meal, they boarded again.  Will half-expected Nico to insist on the two of them taking separate carriages, but Nico climbed into the luggage car again, looked back at Will, and jerked his head to indicate for Will to follow.

Still, they didn’t speak.  Will kept his hands on his lap and looked out the window until he felt something brush across his pinky.  When he looked down, he noticed Nico’s hand on his own lap, lightly touching Will’s over where their thighs pressed together in the cramped car.  Will wondered if Nico had touched him on purpose.  He reached out with one finger to test the theory, then their hands slowly crept closer until their fingers were firmly entwined.

It was late into the night, about an hour outside Divitia, and Will had been half-dozing when Nico finally spoke up again.

“I was afraid,” he said.

Will had been leaning against the door, but turned towards Nico in surprise.  “Afraid?” he repeated after a moment’s hesitation.

“Midas,” Nico said.  “I was afraid he’d do something to you.  Lityerses, too.”

Will frowned, but waited for Nico to continue.

“When I was a child, I...Midas....”

Nico stopped and sighed.  He remained silent for another moment before continuing.  “Asterion.  Long ago, I told you that he had a cruel first master.”

“His master was Midas?”

Nico shook his head.  “No.  But Asterion’s master was involved in the same secret baiting ring.  At first, they mainly baited bulls, but when the Scarlet Delirium began to take a toll on the economy, bulls became too expensive and valuable to throw away for entertainment.  They turned to dogfighting instead.  And Asterion...you’ve seen Asterion’s scars.”

Will waited, but Nico didn’t continue.  “This was why you left Asterion behind?” he asked.

Nico nodded.

Will swallowed.  “Nico, were you...how did you end up with Asterion if...and if you know so much about this, then—Nico, did you see all this?”

Nico nodded again.  “Asterion’s first master was my old tutor, Minos.  All of this happened when I stayed in Minos’ estate in the countryside during the Scarlet Delirium.  I was the one who testified against them.”

“Gods above, Nico,” Will whispered, and the last lingering bits of his anger melted away.  He didn’t need it anymore—he wasn’t in any danger of falling victim to his own urge to quell someone else’s wrath.  Now Nico was vulnerable, opening up to Will in a way he hadn’t before.  Now Will’s job was to listen.

“And Lityerses,” Nico said.  “You asked if I didn’t like him because he was offered as a suitor, but that wasn’t...I didn’t even meet with him, Will.  I sent him away.  I don’t like him because Midas used to bring him to watch the fights.  I saw him there, Will.  I saw him laugh.”

“Oh, Nico,” Will said, gut twisting in disgust.  He’d known that Lityerses had gone to the matches, but laughing at them?  And Nico had been forced to watch him?  “Nico, I’m so sorry, really—and what I said—I know you don’t like being reminded of past suitors, but I went and said all that anyway.”

“It wasn’t exactly an unreasonable assumption—”

“No, Nico, no.  Listen to me.  I shouldn’t have done it.  I upset you needlessly, didn’t I?  And from the way you reacted, it seems like this is much more painful for you than I thought it was.”

Nico sighed.  “I just...when I was trying to court people before you, everyone kept berating me for what I was doing wrong.  Everyone was frustrated with me.  They all said I was just being difficult—first I refused to ever take a wife, and when they offered me husbands, I turned them away, too.  Everyone kept telling me I was being childish.  And if they didn’t believe I was being badly-behaved on purpose, then they just assumed I was a horrible person who no one would ever willingly agree to marry.”

Nico wasn’t exaggerating, Will knew—he’d had the reputation of being cold for years before Will met with him.  Cecil had even approached Will out of concern at his own wedding, hinting that he suspected Will had been forced into the arrangement.

“I’ve always felt like I wasn’t taken seriously,” Nico continued.  “And yes, I was...difficult.  But I was always so angry at that age and sometimes it was hard for me to control it.  The fact that no one bothered to listen to me only made me even angrier.  Besides, all my suitors came with an impression of me already in their heads that I couldn’t easily overwrite—except for you, of course.  Fortunate that I found someone who’d admired me as a child, wasn’t it?”

Nico smiled at Will like he was trying to make a self-deprecating joke, but Will didn’t find it very funny.

“I won’t tease you about it again,” Will said.  “And I certainly won’t make those accusations anymore.”

Nico’s smile twitched and he looked away.  “With other suitors, you’d be partly right.  I was rather terrible and some of them were, too, so yes, I have some rather petty grudges.  But Lityerses—I don’t think what you said would have upset me so much if it hadn’t been about Lityerses.”

“I understand,” Will said.  “But it still upsets you, so I won’t tease you like that again.  And as for Lityerses—what he did was disgusting, I agree.  I don’t approve in the slightest and I’m not trying to defend him.  But I do need you to know that he truly isn’t like that anymore.”

“Will, I know what I saw.  He laughed.”

“I know,” Will said.  He reaffirmed his grip on Nico’s hand.  “Actually, Lityerses and I discussed his father’s baiting.  He told me that he went to see the fights and that he enjoyed them at the time.  But Lityerses and I only talked about it.  I understand that hearing about the horrible things a person does and seeing them are very different.  You may never be able to forgive Lityerses, but can you at least try to listen to what I have to say?”

Nico’s jaw tensed, but he lowered his eyes and nodded.

“Lityerses only knew what his father had taught him,” Will started.  “He never had a reason to question Midas until his trial because he didn’t realize his father was doing anything wrong.  He’s learned since then.  He’s been scrutinizing everything his father does for years so that he’ll know if Midas ever does anything like that again.  He’s been looking into the wellbeing of the ponies, too.  He helped me go over the records.  Nico, I’m not trying to defend what Lityerses did, but children can’t be held completely accountable for acting on what their parents teach them.  What matters is who they grow up to be.  Lityerses is an adult now and he’s made his own choices.  He’s not your enemy anymore.”

Nico pursed his lips.  “I trust you, but it might take me a while to believe that.”

“I understand.  And there was nothing to be jealous of.”

Nico nodded.  “I know.”

“And if you do feel jealous anyway, I’d like you to discuss it with me instead of being angry about it,” Will said.  “I suspect you’d feel far less angry if you’d just talk to me.  You can’t just tell me how to act or who to spend time with.”

“I know,” Nico said again.  He rubbed his temple.  “I’m this way with Reyna, too.  I got so jealous when she was around Prince Jason because I was scared he’d take her away from me.”

“Nico,” Will said slowly, “you do realize that’s ridiculous, don’t you?  Just as ridiculous as me running off with Lityerses.”

Nico frowned in distaste.  “I didn’t think you’d run off with him.”

“Then what did you fear would happen?”

“I don’t know,” Nico admitted.  “I suppose I was jealous that you were talking to him instead of listening to me.  I was scared that you’d get hurt somehow.”

“You thought he meant to harm me?”

Nico sighed.  “I don’t know what I thought.  I wasn’t thinking.  I was...reacting.  That’s what I’ve been doing this entire trip.  I shouldn’t have come to Phrygia at all, really.  Given my history with Midas, Reyna offered to send someone in my place, but I thought I could handle it.  At the very least, I shouldn’t have brought you into this.”

Will felt a spark of annoyance flicker back up inside him.  “If you hadn’t brought me into it, Zoe would still be ill.  You wouldn’t have all the information you do on the ponies.  I didn’t need your protection, Nico.  I’m sorry you felt that way, but that didn’t give you the right to keep me locked up or to stop me from healing people.  Everything you worried about was entirely in your head.  I even tried to tell you that earlier this week.”

“I—”  Nico looked like he wanted to argue, but then he sighed.  “Yes.  You’re right.  I know.”

Will watched as Nico fiddled with the lace trim of his sleeve in the moonlight.

It was another moment before Nico started talking again.

“You were right to heal her.  I wish you had notified me, but...of course you saw to her first.  I wouldn’t ask you to neglect someone in need of healing.”  Another silence.  “I’m trying to apologize.  I’m terrible at apologizing.”

“No, we’re not doing this,” Will said, and Nico looked up in surprise.  “No,” Will repeated.  “We were doing so well and we’re not going to stop now.  You’re not just going to tell me you’re sorry for everything and then just expect us to move on.  You are going to explain to me why you’ve been so angry.  I’m going to tell you why I’ve been angry.  We will work out together what we did wrong and what we should have done instead.  Now tell me why you hated me using your given name in front of Midas so much.”

“I overreacted—”

“No, Nico.  Tell me why you were angry.”

“I....”  Nico stopped.  A second later, he started again, but then he stopped just as quickly.  Finally, he said, “I do like privacy, but you were right.  That wasn’t what it was about.  I didn’t want Midas to think that I was....”

“What?  Weak?”

Nico half-shrugged, half-nodded.  “I was a child last time we met.  I testified against him in the trial, but he managed to squirm his way around the law.  This time, I wanted to seem...powerful.  I wanted him to know that he couldn’t take advantage of my inexperience anymore.  I wanted to make it very clear that I was his prince and his duke and that he was to answer to me.  I thought that if you behaved more formally, he’d...I don’t know anymore.  It sounds silly now.”

“You didn’t want to be underestimated.”

Nico nodded.

“You could have said this to me earlier.  I would have been happy to help you intimidate him.”

Nico blew out a puff of air and smiled weakly as he shook his head.  “Will, you can’t be intimidating.  You’re too kind.”

“Nico,” Will said.  “I had him quaking in his shoes when I confronted him about the ponies.  I think I’m the one being underestimated.”

Nico blinked at Will.  “Yes,” he said, like he hadn’t considered that before.  He paused.  “Yes.  You are quite amazing, Will.  It really is a shame that you’re not making trips to Venadica.  If you want to accept Midas’ funding, I....”  Nico frowned, like the next part was difficult to say.  “Well, I won’t like it, but he is wealthy.  And you’re right, this sort of thing is your choice.”

Will frowned in confusion at the sharp change in topic.  “Thank you, Nico,” he said.  “It’s my choice, but your support does mean a lot to me.  And....”  Will looked at their hands, still joined on top of their thighs.  “I know that I did some things wrong on this trip, too.  Can you talk to me more about what made you so angry this week?  It can’t have all been about Lityerses, can it?”

Nico sighed and adjusted the way he was sitting to get more comfortable on the bench.  “I felt like you were being...oddly capricious,” he admitted.  “One moment, you were passionately involved in taking care of the pit ponies, and the next you were having tea with Lityerses or saying you wanted to go to bed early or telling me you wanted to relax and read a book.  I couldn’t tell if you really wanted to help or not.”

“I was with Zoe,” Will explained.  “And when I was with Lityerses, we were either talking about Zoe or the pit ponies.”

“Well, I know that now. I just didn’t know that then.”

“I thought you were difficult to read, too,” Will said.  “One minute, I felt like you valued my opinion and my help, and the next, you were brushing me aside.”

“Because I was upset because I thought you were difficult to read.”

“You didn’t have to act so vengeful.  You could have talked to me about it.”

“And you could have done the same.  But even if I had approached you, what would you have said?  You would have just lied to me about Zoe again.”

“I—” Will started, but Nico was right.

“You should have told me something, Will.  You could have said that you were healing someone.”

“Honestly, Nico, I didn’t think that it would cause such a problem.”

“I don’t believe that.  You knew that it would upset me.”

Will’s words caught in his throat.  “Yes,” he said after a second.  “Yes, you’re right.  I did.  But I didn’t do it with the intention of upsetting you.  Do you know how important confidentiality is to some people, Nico?  This wasn’t about keeping a secret or lying.  If I’d told you I was healing someone in the estate at Midas’ request, you would’ve had questions and I could have accidentally revealed too much.  I don’t think it would have been difficult for you to find out that I was looking after his daughter.”

“That’s ridiculous, Will,” Nico said, his snapish tone taking Will by surprise.  “You could have told me what you just said—that you were healing someone in the estate, but you couldn’t give me more information because you wanted to keep their identity private.  If I asked questions, you could have told me that you couldn’t answer.  Instead, you lied to me—and not very well, either.  It was obvious that you were hiding something.  I was confused.  You refused to spend time with me, I kept finding you with Lityerses after you told me you’d be doing something else, and I had no idea what was going on with you.”

Will swallowed thickly.  Nico was right.  He could have done something, but he hadn’t.  “I think that by the time I realized that not telling you about Zoe would cause such a problem, we were both already so angry,” he said.  “I didn’t especially want to talk about it and I’m not sure you would have listened at that point.”

Nico nodded.  “That’s true,” he admitted.  “After you made that comment about me judging Lityerses as an ex-suitor, I was so furious with you that everything made me angry.”

“I really am sorry about that.”

“I know.  That’s not the point, though—the point is that I still think you should have said something from the beginning, when I asked you what Midas wanted after he visited you that first evening.  Just that someone was ill.  For all I knew, it could have been a stable boy—or even a horse.  You didn’t have to specify that your patient was human.”

Will nodded.  “You’re right.  I don’t regret trying to protect Zoe’s confidentiality, but you’re right—I should have done something differently.  I should have told you enough to ease your worries, or I could have even asked Zoe for permission to speak to you.  I really did feel guilty about everything.”

“In any case, you did some impressive work this week,” Nico said, his voice taking on softer tone.  “You handled all the ponies and the mine’s records of them, you dealt with Midas so well, and you did all that while looking after Zoe.  I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate it at the time.”

Will smiled warily.  “Thank you, but you don’t have to flatter me.  I’m not angry anymore.”

“Maybe I just want to compliment my husband.”

Will’s smile felt more genuine then.  “So do you forgive me?” he asked.

“Of course I do,” Nico answered.  “Do you forgive me?”

Will did—there was no question about it.  Perhaps they’d need to talk about it more in the future, but he was tired of fighting and he wanted to smooth the whole thing over and move on.  It seemed like Nico felt the same.

Still, Will couldn’t resist teasing his husband just a little.

“Not yet,” Will replied.  “I require a display of devotion to ensure that your apology is genuine.”

Nico looked confused for a moment, but then he grinned.  “A display of devotion?”

“A kiss will do.”

So Nico gave him a kiss, and they continued to kiss until they reached Divitia.

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